


Stiffy

by Tish



Category: The Bill
Genre: Alpha Males, Innuendo, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-30
Updated: 2012-12-30
Packaged: 2017-11-22 23:42:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/615688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tish/pseuds/Tish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Smithy finds that the more things change, the more they stay the same. (Plot? What plot?)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stiffy

**Author's Note:**

> The Bill is owned by Pearson Media, I'm just taking the characters for a joy-ride.

Smithy frowned and looked up as the coffee mug was placed on the desk in front of him.  
  
"Thought you might like a pick-me-up,” Stone winked.  
  
Smithy blinked, then raised an eyebrow. “Cheers,” he muttered suspiciously.  
  
Callum smiled as he placed a saucer between them, settling down with his own mug, “Chocolate Hobnobs, too.”  
  
Smithy regarded the dish as though it had just landed from an interstellar journey, then gingerly took a biscuit. He glanced over at Callum, busy judging how much coffee his bikkie could safely absorb before going too limp and soggy.  
  
Stone swooped the entire Hobnob into his mouth and _mmmmed_ in delight, frowning as he caught Smithy's stare, he swallowed and asked, “Something wrong?”.  
  
Smithy paused, “Erm, _deja vú_...," he muttered, before burying his head in some paperwork.  
  
  
  
A few days later, Smithy lead a prisoner into the Custody area. He watched Stone walk out from the cells area, calling over his shoulder, “Put him in the other cell. I'll get the mop and bucket!”  
Spying Smithy, Callum gave him a wink and a smile as he strolled out.  
  
  
  
The canteen thrummed with officers' gossip and laughter. Smithy plonked his tray on a table as Tony and Diane smiled a greeting. The seat opposite was immediately claimed by Stone, "Ah, the best table, with the best officers! Having the sausage today, Smithy?"  
  
Smithy looked up, his knife hovering his plate, "Amazing powers of observation, Sgt. Stone. Carry on."  
  
Stone looked over at Diane, "Nothing like a good mouthful, is there, PC Noble?"  
  
Diane smiled sweetly, "I'm a vegetarian, actually."  
  
Smithy arched an eyebrow as he watched Stone, trying to decide if he was being serious, or...  
  
  
  
  
Another night...  
  
It was quiet in the station, one relief gone home, another on the streets. Smithy slowly closed the locker room door and undid his uniform shirt. Pulling open his locker he stood bare-chested, stretched like a cat, then unbuckled his trousers.  
  
  
"I couldn't help noticing how odd you've been behaving lately, Smithy. Something on your mind? You seem like you need de-stressing."  
  
Smithy turned to see Callum leaning against a locker.  
"You have a habit of creeping up on people, Stone. It's annoying," Smithy retorted, disturbed by how aroused he felt whenever Stone was around.  
  
Stone smiled coolly, "Force of habit. It helps catch the bad guys, though. Not that you're bad. In fact, I've heard you're good. Very good."  
  
Smithy shook his head as Stone opened his locker and started undressing.  
  
  
Smithy poked through his locker looking for his t-shirt, scowling as he saw a sausage-shaped gift-wrapped package. "What's this?" he muttered.  
  
Stone leaned over, grinning, "Looks like a present. Got a secret admirer, then? Aren't you going to open it?"  
  
"It'll just be someone's idea of a joke. Something like what one of my former colleagues was always doing...", Smithy looked up sharply, "Funny you should appear just when I find it!"  
  
Callum deadpanned as he looked Smithy's body up and down, "I've got no idea what you're on about. Go on, open it and see what it is."  
  
Smithy growled as he waved it in the air, "I can make a good guess what it is!"  
  
Callum nodded, "Looks like a cigar to me."  
  
Smithy wriggled an eyebrow, "Pretty big bloody cigar..."  
  
Stone shrugged, "Oh, I've seen some big cigars in my time. There's nothing quite like sucking on a good Cuban."  
  
Smithy smirked, "You know, I got this lame innuendo all the time from one of my PCs a few years back. You're nothing special. You're merely following in his _very tiny_ footsteps."  
  
Stone stood even closer to Smithy, hands running down his chest, "You of all people you should know that I don't follow, I lead!"  
  
Smithy smiled as Stone gently pushed him back against the lockers, pressing against him, "Predictable, utterly predictable."  
  
  
He let Callum kiss him, then shoved him back into another locker, "I don't roll over that easily, Pebble Boy!"  
  
Stone let Smithy grind his body against him, then caught Smithy's leg, tipping him back over the bench, swiftly pinning him down. "Now what are you going to do?" Callum grinned.  
  
  
Smithy arched an eyebrow and whispered, "Come here and find out."  
  
Stone hovered over him, then moved down for another kiss. He relaxed himself over Smithy as they felt each other's bodies. Smithy slowly let his hand wander across Callum's loosened trousers, then round the back, slowly pulling them and the boxers down.  
  
  
As Callum kissed him, Smithy started to laugh, "You really think you're in with a chance, don't you?"  
  
Callum looked down at him, "Given you have your right hand clamped onto my buttock, I'd say yes."  
  
Smithy cocked his eyebrow again, moving his left hand, "You may be right, but then again..."  
  
Stone suddenly gasped and recoiled, clutching his arse.  
  
"Close, but no cigar!", Smithy laughed as he grabbed his clothes and walked off.


End file.
